DEALING WITH CRYING, ANGRY OR TEMPAMENTAL CHILDREM
Children are lovely. We can change their problems into opportunites for improvement
Bonus Question
How to pacify crying, angry, or temperal children, aged from babies to grown ups?
Atte
Answer
There are many ways to pacify crying, angry or temperamental children, such as giving them what they want, ignoring them, or use the occasion as an opportunity to teach them some good values.
The many ways to pacify children can be classified into three groups – good, average and bad.
Giving them what they want, especially when what they want is unreasonable, is bad. Ignoring them is average. Using it as an opportunity to teach them good values is good.
Choosing a good response to a given situation, not necessary in pacifying children but in any situation, is a skill that needs mental clarity and energy. If one has no mental clarity, or if he has mental clarity but his mind is crowded by myriad thought, which is common to most people, he cannot differentiate between good, average and bad. He may not even know that he can classify responses into these three categories.
If he has no energy, he just cannot make a good decision.
So, if you, like Atte who is Olli’s brother-in-law, want to have mental clarity and energy, it is time to learn chi kung or kungfu, or both, from our school. It is useful to know that today genuine chi kung and genuine kungfu are rare, and to be able to use the benefits of genuine chi kung and genuine kungfu for daily living is rarer still.
Many people will give children what they want. Some people may ignore the children’s demand. Very few people will use it as an opportunity to teach the children some good values. They don't do so because they don’t have the skill.
If a child is crying because he wants a toy, give him the toy. But if he wants to ride on a motor-cycle which can be dangerous, tell the child that it is better to ride in a car. Take the child and your car for a ride.
What good values has the child learnt? He has learnt that as he is too small, it is dangerous to ride a motor-cycle. He also has learnt that it is more comfortable to be driven in a car. It may, you never can tell, imprint on his child’s mind that when he grows up he will buy a car instead of a motor-cycle.
If a child is angry or temperamental because he wants to ride on a motor-cycle and he cannot have his wish fulfilled, tell him, even in his childish mind, that it is unhealthy to be angry and temperamental, and it is healthy to be happy. Here is a fact that even many adults may not know, and you impress this good value into the child’s mind. Make him happy from being angry or being temperamental. You may, for example, perform some antics or clownish action.
The questions and answers are reproduced from the thread 10 Questions on Happy Family Life in the Shaolin Wahnam Discussion Forum.
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