EMPLOYING STRATEGIES AT WORK AND AT HOME
Sigung, at my work one of my main tasks and responsibility is to solve problems and to make decisions that must be then often executed by my colleagues. What would be a gentle but profound and cost-effective way to “attack" their listening and/or understanding when sometimes required?
For my private and family life the word “attack" feels more uncomfortable and unnatural to me. Which one of these attacks would you consider the most elegant, soft and feminine that could help me to change my perception?
In your work situations, the strategy, “Borrow Body to Reincarnate”, would be most suitable as a gentle but profound and cost-effective way to get your colleagues act on your decisions. The “body” you use will be your boss, who is also their boss.
Suppose your boss has asked you to decide which of the three companies A, B and C you should work with in a project, and you have decided on A, and the action has to be carried out by your colleagues.
If you tell your colleagues, “Now I want you to work with Company A,” they may not like it, though they may still carry out the action, which may also be less effective due to their hard feelings.
If you say, “The boss wants you to work with Company A”, the instruction becomes more gentle and also more cost-effective as they are paid by the boss to do the work.
Your colleagues may or may not know that it is actually your decision, and not your boss. Suppose they say, “It’s your decision, not the boss’ decision,” you can sweetly reply, “Like you, I’m working for the boss, and he has the final say.”
This is profound because your colleagues will, consciously or unconsciously, want to be nice to you, so that your decisions on behalf of the boss may make life easier for them.
In your private and family life, the strategy, Throw Stone Attract Jade, will be useful. Suppose your friends or family are debating which of three restaurants, A. B and C, you all should go for dinner, and you have decided on A.
Instead of saying, “I’ve decided on A, so let’s all go to A”, which may be taken by some as aggressive, you can say, “A is a nice restaurant. What do you all think?”
More often than not, all will agree to go to A, otherwise there would not be any deliberation which restaurant to go to if someone had a preference earlier.
If there is still some hesitation, though not objection, you can add, “Many people have said A provides good food.”
If someone counter-proposes Restaurant B, before he can elaborate you add gently, “We can go to B if you want. I don’t know about the food in B. It may be good or it may not be. We can take a risk. But I am certain the food in A is good. There is no risk.”
You throw a stone, i.e. your decision. You attract jade, i.e. a perception that you are considerate.
The question and answer are taken from the thread More Fun! 36 Strategies in the Shaolin Wahnam Institute Discussion Forum.